That we armor and protect ourselves in this society is not news to anyone reading this. And we also treasure those times when we feel that our emotions and expression are fully received, unconditionally respected, and ‘held’ — partly because those experiences are so very rare.
Research has shown that the more we can live in a relatively undefended state, our whole life is benefited, our physical health as well as our relationships. But it sometimes takes great courage and self-confidence to ‘de-squam’ (Pir Vilayat’s term) ourselves of the contrivances of defense.
I think the sensation of being “vulnerable” and therefore on tenuous ground stems from a time in our life — early childhood, when we were first getting the hang of embodiment. We really were dependent upon those around us — our caregivers and teachers — to clearly mirror our awesomesauce back to us so that we could fully own it. They either didn’t see it, or they judged it, or they tried to make it into something else. So we carry the wounds of that, of being not-seen or of being seen in a distorted or hurtful way.
The Paradox of “Universal Sufism”
by Pir Zia Inayat Khan
The word ‘tension’ often tends to have a rather negative valance, but actually, I use that word in a very positive sense, because I feel that all of my energy comes from a kind of tension. I feel there are poles of experience, and somehow in the encounter between those poles, there is a dynamism that is much more meaningful than is found in any static experience of one or the other pole. Somehow, the path unfolds as a kind of a spiraling dance rather than a straight line, being pulled in one direction and the other, and out of that, whirling, and in that whirling a flow of energy is created that allows one to ascend.
- Greatness is in humility;
- Wisdom is in modesty;
- Success is in sacrifice;
- Truth is in silence.
Therefore the best way of doing the work is to do all we can, do it thoroughly, do it wholeheartedly, and do it quietly. H.I.K
“The shadow is a moral problem that challenges the whole ego-personality, for no one can become conscious of the shadow without considerable moral effort. To become conscious of it involves recognizing the dark aspect of the personality as present and real. This act is the essential condition for any kind of self-knowledge, and it therefore, as a rule, meets with considerable resistance.” C.G. Jung
“I had terribly strong attachment to my personal history. My family roots were deep. I honestly felt that without them my life had no continuity or purpose. . . . I don’t have personal history anymore. . . . I dropped it one day when it was no longer necessary.” Don Juan
Caffeine musings this morning:
Many of us spiritual types hold compassion as a deep personal value — and that’s as it should be. But I see a lot of us trying for “compassion” as the default response to life’s exigencies without first having truly faced our fear and our anger.
True compassion rests on *detachment* and *power*. You can’t attain detachment without first having faced and conquered your fear, or you will be using a veneer of detachment to push your fear away — and it’s exhausting. You can’t engage your power without having faced and conquered your anger, or your power will be false and brittle.